I have great news! I have been decertified! The psychiatrist who certified me just told me that now my vitals have reached baseline stability so they have decertified me. However, if I were to leave now it would still be against medical advice (AMA) but now the ball is in my court. She warned me of how precarious my health still is - I'm still getting low blood sugar spells and I'm still on magnesium and saline IV's but my blood levels are leveling out and that's why they can't legally keep me certified anymore.
I was so shocked to hear this news! I get to choose to stay or go! I am totally 50/50 right now. I haven't gained much weight here (2 lbs) and I know the longer I stay the more I will gain (obviously). I know truthfully that I am not ready to recover. I'm hoping to never go back to purging, but I know that I will restrict when I leave because I hate my body even with the extra 2 lbs on it. I hope not to get so sick that I end up here superfast but even the nurses and doctors have said, "you will be back here because we can see that you are not ready to recover yet. it's just a matter of time".
I'm struggling so much with the decision: stay or go. I'll update more on this decisions later... gtg... another gal wants to use the computer.
I really hope you stay. It worries me that you already planning on losing more weight. I agree with the staff, it is just a matter of time before you're back in there, or worse. But no one can make you recover, you have to want it on your own. I just wish you could see how sick you really are.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that if you left and then lost weight, they would re-certify you and re-admit you and it would be harder to get de-certified again. That might suck because I'm assuming it's nice to be in control of your life and make your own decisions. A lot can change in just a few days, so you should take your time making the decision if nothing else. Personally, I hope you stay and get better even if it means gaining some weight. I doubt you can remain at that weight and be healthy for the rest of your life -- couldn't you use being there and being monitored to sort of figure out at what weight you become unhealthy and then you would know what weight to stay above if nothing else. I might be crazy and that might not actually work, but it seems worth a try simply because someday when you are recovered or recovering you might start to wonder what weight signifies "healthy." If you think about it, weight doesn't really matter at all if you're healthy -- even if you're healthy at a low weight.
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