Waiting Game

Surprisingly, my weight dropped even more today. It's not me trying to lose wt. it must be the stress of all this. It seems like the next 5 days are going to be a waiting game as I prepare for admission. It's such a strange feeling to know you'll be removed from your everyday life in a few short days. I went grocery shopping today but barely bought anything because I won't be around to cook! I've started making lists of stuff to do, loose ends to tie up, things to pack. Lastly, I wonder how to tell my 2.5 year old. How much will he understand? Willt his cause abandonment/attachment issues?

The doctor's words keep ringing in my head. "The decision is not yours to make anymore". It's embarrassing! If this isn't what it feels like to be crazy, what is!?

The good news is that my supervisor was so supportive even though I only gave her 1 week's notice of my leave. She said not to worry about anything. She calculated how muth paid time off I have - about 3-4 weeks - so I could ease my mind a bit. She also said that the timing is actually not that bad (compared to what it could be for accounting). ie. now is a slow time of year, it's mid-month, it's not the end of a financial quarter. She also offered to tell everyone once I'd already gone off on leave, that I'd gone for health issues (being vague) so I wouldn't have to tell them myself ahead of time and thus field the questions. I think I will follow that route and avoid the questions. I hope it doesn't generate too much gossip, but my bigger fear is returning to work after and getting the "you look so HEALTHY!" comments.