This quote is perfect for me in so many ways. This push and pull of holding on versus letting go is what I struggle with in so many areas of my life. The excitement of new chapters in my life is offset by the pang of sadness at closing old ones. I will be thirty this year.
On Saturday I kept myself busy visiting my hometown. I tried curling for the first time with my parents and husband. Curling is a lot tougher than it looks! My glutes, triceps, abs and lats are all sore. It was so much fun to do something out of the ordinary. I also took the opportunity to get to meet up with a dear friend and former co-worker. Visiting my hometown made extremely nostalgic. I had forgotten how many ties I had there until this weekend, then the contrast was stark. I fought hard to be able to move to the US with my son, so I am not looking back, but it really hit me how much I gave up along with this move. I just have to keep trusting God that he allowed this move to happen and everything is in His will.
I wish I could say I was strong enough to stop the texting completely and not look back, but that hasn't been the case. Friday, Saturday and half of Sunday we stuck to our agreement that we wouldn't contact each other. Then he texted me yesterday afternoon and I replied. We are still going for coffee this week as planned. I enjoy his personality and friendship and I want to see if we can be just friends. Maybe the couple days of time apart might have put things back into perspective for both of us. I do not want to do something that will hurt my marriage. I am having a hard time steering clear of this guy because I like him. He makes me laugh and I need more friends in this city. As long as we both know the line we will be OK, I believe.
He already told his wife on Friday that he is going for coffee with me. He told her that we met at work and that we are meeting again to discus possible job opportunities. He told me that he plans on introducing me to her sometime and maybe having our whole families hang out sometime. It sounds nice. However, I honestly think it will be a little weird meeting her and hanging out with her knowing some of the things her husband has said to me in the past and some of the intimate things I know about their relationship.
I haven't told my husband yet about us going for coffee. I don't think it will be an issue, but I'm waiting until closer to that to tell him just in case it is. I've already decided that when I tell him, I will tell him the truth. He has met this guy before in the store. Gosh, I'm rambling now. Time for bed.
I think this is definitely
ReplyDeleteThe right choice but it's also
Hard to go back because you can't unsay things that have already been said. Like you mentioned, things he said about you to things you know
About his wife.... That could
Make meeting his family
Awkward. Make sure you do
Tell C about the coffee date. I think that love is a choice and we need to choose it everyday. Things are hard sometimes and look at all
The sacrifices you made to move down there with Z. I think it's gotta be worth it. :)