My Sister

My sister is away and won't be home until Sunday night. Even though we don't see each other that much or even talk that much it feels like there's a void. She's a business student and working for a promotions company and will be up in Whistler for the weekend. Her job as a promoter just highlights even more how different the two of us are in every way. She's a social butterfly, I'm an introvert. She gets recharged by being around people, I need my own time and space in order to recharge. She is healthy, vibrant and has never had issues with food. Me... not so much. She and I used to be really close but the ED has been slowly driving a wedge between us. She is one of those really normal people. If there were such thing as a "normal", she would be it. Well adjusted, well rounded, all those good things. She's never worried about food or size (and she's naturally tiny too!) and even though she's seen me struggle for 15 years, she doesn't understand that ED's are not a choice. I don't talk to her about any of the ED stuff because her response is usually something like, 'just make the choice to eat and then eat! simple!' I wish we spent more time together but I understand that it's really tough to watch someone driving themselves down a futile and destructive path like I am doing. I don't blame her, I just feel sad for the way we were. I used to be someone she looked up to but now I think I've become a disappointment even in her eyes.