Preparing for IP in 4 days

I'm trying to make peace with going into the hospital in 4 days. This weekend I have lists and lists of stuff to do, loose ends to tie up, etc. I'm reminding myself to trust the people who supposedly know what they are doing, to make decisions for me and to follow without putting up too much of a fight.

This time around I'm going to try not to let the little things bug me, like the power struggles between patients and staff over whether or not you can doodle in your notebook during group, blah blah blah.

The dietician phoned yesterday to pick my menus. I amazed myself at how much of the menu I can remember from the last time (5 months ago). My meal plan will be small to start - 1 item from each group at each meal + 3 snacks/day. For my protein food I picked cottage cheese each and every meal. Oh, and also for evening snack which can't be a fruit/veggie. I guess I will be eating a LOT of cottage cheese, since nothing else on the menu sounds doable right now.

Last time I didn't complete any of my meals - I replaced with Boost at every single meal :( - so that is one of my goals this time around - to finish at least one meal. The mental barrier for me is seeing the empty plate and feeling like a pig for having finished everything on the plate. Boost also feels safer because it's not like a chunk of food sitting like a brick inside you. At least it's a liquid and seems easier to digest. My mind is warped - I know that by drinking the Boost you end up consuming more calories than if you just ate the food - but yet I still opt for the Boost because it seems safer.

My workplace is incredibly supportive this time as they were the past 2 times. My supervisor is an amazing lady. I love her. She toes the line between asking questions and being supportive but yet not prying and invading my privacy. I'm pretty open with everyone since it's kinda obvious anyway. I used to hide and pretend but I'm past that point. Nobody has judged me (that I know of anyway) and the overwhelming reaction is caring and concern. A pleasant surprise!