I'm out of IP. I ran out of sick time at work and I was also getting anxious about the weight gain (of course). I can barely look at myself in the mirror.
I'm glad I went in and I think I did learn some new skills to cope, but I also know this will not be my last round of IP treatment. Like so many I am caught in the "revolving door". My doctor pointed out that at least I'm being realistic. Even the team feels that I've been pushed as far as I can go this admission, and I'm back on the referral list for IP again, probably in 4 months or so I will go back in for a little bit. Short, frequent stays rather than long ones. I'm OK with that. Kind of like a bi-yearly tune-up you give your car or like "topping up" gas in your car. lol.
I have still yet to complete a whole meal without replacing 50% of it with Boost. I have thus drunk Boost (Vanilla is the only flavor I can tolerate) 3x per day for over 2 weeks.
I've been doing OK by my standards. I've been eating exactly 1/2 of my mealplan. No Boost. The only problem is that each meal takes me 2 hours to get through. No joke. By the time I'm done eating one meal, it's almost time for the next. The only really 'safe' food right now for me is cottage cheese. I've never understood my rationales for picking my 'safe foods' and I still don't.
I'm going to take my Zopiclone now and hit the sack. Going back to work tomorrow.
I hope that you can stick with eating at least half of each meal plan. Even though it maybe isn't 'enough,' it is definitely better than not eating at all. You sound much better about it now than you did last time.
ReplyDeleteKnow that I am thinking of you, and I am on your side. Good luck. xoxo
Hi I've been reading your blog for a little while and I can relate your struggles. I think it's totally unfair you had to suspend your treatment because of your job's sick leave ended! The treatment is for your own well-being and if you can't recover at your own pace how anyone can expect you to even consider continuing working... Unbelievable.
ReplyDeleteTake care there, be strong and don't give up trying to finish your meals. *hug*
Tia you're doing so well! Yay :) If you still need boost though you could always buy pediasure. I almost drank that but decided not to. I drink Naked juice because it has a ton of nutrients in it that my body needs. Also did you know they sold individual containers of cottage cheese? They're perfect! Keep trying to finish your meals, you're doing so well. Doing this on your own is challenging but just know we're all here to support you
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your accomplishment! I'm always amazed at how miserable I am when I'm in IP then how terrified I get when I leave. Sounds like you and your treatment team are all on the same page, which is nice. And its okay if it isn't going to be your last stay in IP- you got as much out of this admission as you could, you'll get even more next time.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for hanging in there. Good luck going back to work. It'll be another adjustment, but you'll be able to handle it.
Hi, I'm sorry I missed you at EC. I was actually there on Tuesday as my days got switched up for this week only, and I think I saw you as you were being discharged. Good luck on the outside, and try to take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you keep up the work that you were doing in IP. I really hope you can continue to take care of yourself. Stay strong...keep up the good fight. you can do it
ReplyDeletexoxo
-Lisa