Someone was discharged today and the new girl just arrived to take her spot. How quickly it all happens. Goodbye to one, Hello to the next. The ever revolving door of ED patients needing help.
I feel immensely triggered right now. Of course she's teeny... she just got here and hasn't been 'fattened up' yet. She also looks like she's 12 and speaks in that little girl high-pitched sorta whiny kinda tone. I hate feeling so fat in comparison. Fat, worthless, disgusting.
This also happens to be terrible timing - she arrived 15 minutes before lunch. Getting through lunch will be really hard today, especially being so hugely triggered right now. All I can think of is, "i need to lose weight, i need to lose weight", I cannot face the food, not with her, not with this feeling of not being good enough.
THIS is what you are there for! It is exactly this type of situation that you need to learn how to handle and get through. Did you talk about it with your counselor?
ReplyDeletexoxo
Agree with Jenn. I do know what you mean though. It was never easy when the new people showed up.
ReplyDeleteI hope you talked to someone about what you're feeling.