I told him about the ED on Saturday when we hung out.
We only see each other once a week because he lives in WA and I'm in BC. He seemed to take it OK and said nothing would change his opinion of me, but I'm not sure if that's the truth or if it's just the polite way to react. Now I'm a little worried because he hasn't contacted me since Saturday. Maybe he's realizing that I have too much baggage than he bargained for and is retreating. I don't know... I'm trying not to overanalyze things or jump to conclusions. I'm trying to ease my mind by telling myself that if he is indeed running away because of the ED, it's better that I know NOW rather than LATER. So whatever happens is what is supposed to happen and I should try and just breathe right now and let things unfold the way they are meant to.
Dammit, I wish I could really believe that. Instead, I turn everything inwards and blame myself for anything and everything that goes wrong. And then the ED wins because we all know how ED'd people deal with stress...
i have tried like a bazillion times to post this. but it is better that he and you know earlier than later. guys need time to precess things so don't over thing the fact that he hasn't been in touch. proud of you for telling him.
ReplyDeletebloggers being stupid. it's jules that posted that comment.
ReplyDeletei know exactly the feeling. when something goes wrong, i automatically blame myself. i hope he doesnt feel that way. and if he does then hes not worth your time! if hes scared already, how will he support you when youre going through intense stuff? buttt if he does give you a call, i hope it works out, and that he deserves you!
ReplyDeleteIt seems like a lot of guys don't like to talk on the phone and somehow think it's "cool" to not call a girl back for a while. I could be wrong, but that's how a lot of guys I know act. (Since I used to have a lot of guy friends I was always the girl telling them, "If you like her, you really should give her a call!!") Sooo, maybe he's just one of those guys.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, if he does retreat because of this then you would be better off without him. I'm hoping he just isn't much of one for talking on the phone OR maybe he had busy weekend, needed time to process things etc. Whatever the reason, it's not your fault -- you were honest and open about things.
Now, *fingers crossed* that he's a good guy and calls back :)
Have you talked to him since?
ReplyDeleteIt is better if you find out now if he can handle it. Believe me, having developed anorexia after ten years of marriage was not a good thing, and we are struggling.
ReplyDeleteStill, I have to think he suspected something because you do look too thin. I hope he is just thinking things over, processing it, and will call you back.
I do think that it was likely he suspected because you are very thin. I wouldn't worry about it. Worst case scenario he is taking it all in.
ReplyDelete