It was weigh day.
Let's just say there were a lot of unhappy campers.
I'm kinda 50-50 on it. My weight went up quite a bit (FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS) but my meal plan is not going to be increased from the basic/intro meal plan because my weight went up ie. my metabolism is shot to hell (RELIEVED NOT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH MORE FOOD).
It makes me wonder if I ever do recover, if I'll never be able to eat a normal amt of food because of the damage to my metabolism.
It was extremely difficult to get through meals yesterday with the weight gain in the back of my mind as well as witnessing the other people struggling so hard at the table as a result of the weigh in. Some people who had been eating almost all their meals began replacing 100% of the meal, not taking a single bite off their tray. It was so hard to watch, but I do not fault anyone. Every person has their own struggle and their own timeline. I just feel guilty for eating 50% of my meal when someone else is eating 0%. Even if they are replacing with Boost.
yea, weight days suck hard core. your metabolism is likely quite slow but it will pick up. good job on still working on eating some of your meals despite the weight gain. i know it's hard to keep going but sometimes you just gotta. my weight went up about 7kg in the first 3 weeks and then stabilized for quite sometime until my last week in hospital when i started restricting again. but there were a couple of weeks where i had the tube running and was eating my meal plan and my weight wasn't budging.
ReplyDeleteanyway, you will get there too but probably not until you're at a healthier weight.
i've made my blog private so can you FB me your email address so i can invite you please?
I think it's great that you're making so much progress -- and the fact that you are able to do this while others struggle just makes you even stronger! From what I hear, it can be really beneficial for everyone to work together IP, but it can also be really tough to not let others drag you down when they struggle. I'm really happy that you're sticking to your own timeline.
ReplyDeleteAlso, funny, but we just had a lecture on metabolism today in physiology. It was actually really focused on thyroid hormone levels. But, anyway, this stuck with me because I went through this: Basically, in response to starvation your thyroid stops producing/reduces production of TSH, T3 and T4 (those are the measured blood values) the reason for this is so that the body's metabolism will slow. Decreased metabolism of substrates is also what leads to cold intolerance (because metabolism produces ATP/energy and heat). (I know you're cold all the time, so I was thinking when I read the above paragraph that maybe you have starvation-induced hypothyroidism just like I did when I was restricting.) If this is the case, your metabolism WILL increase/return to normal. Starvation does two things: 1.) you possibly don't have enough iodine intake and iodine is needed to make thyroid hormones in the first place -- low thyroid hormones leads to decreased metabolism and 2.) your body's natural response is to lower metabolism to conserve energy. If you give your body more calories to burn then it will no longer have to conserve and you will increase iodine intake.
I tried to write that from a scientific viewpoint, but, basically it looks like you won't need to worry about your metabolism never returning to normal... it's just annoying as all heck to wait while it does.
Please stay strong!! I'm soooo proud of you :)
Sorry to be one - maybe the only one - of those people who refused to eat a bite. It was a combination of things. Weigh day didn't help (I know, sure, keep telling me it's "fluids", but I'm still seeing that number go up faster than they say is physically possible through tissue gain), but I had also just had it with EC. Had it with the food, with the plethora of new rules, with some of the groups, with everything, and something in me just...stopped. Anyway, I hope the person who replaced me today is more motivating, and I hope you did well on your interview.
ReplyDeleteI am worried that you are leaving on Monday, because I don't think you have had enough time to really "take a bite" out of your ED. But, I guess we all do what we have to do, and I hope you do what you need to do to not only stay alive, but get and stay healthy.