Visit from parents

My parents came to visit me for the first time yesterday. I was extremely anxious about it the whole day before the visit and the morning of the visit. I don't want to interact with anybody from the outside world right now. It sounds so boring, but I really only want to talk to people who understand what it's really like, so I don't have to expend energy on explaining it only to get a superficial, trivial answer. People who don't know the depth and bredth of this disorder and who just want to help often say things like, "why don't you see a nutritionist and try following a meal plan?". Yes, I agree that would be helpful and I'm doing that, but there is so much more to all of this. To even BEGIN to explain it is a daunting task. So I only choose to go into detail with people who will truly be impactful in my life. For the others, I just smile, nod, and say thank you.

I was afraid the visit would involve fighting over some insignificant issue as is usually the case. But it was a really good visit. We stayed neutral and respectful of each other. Bonus: She snuck in 2 boxes of CRYSTAL LITE! My mom is hilarious. She brings me gum, crystal lite and other contraband.

Victory: I completed 1 grain (1 pc. ww toast) without replacing it at dinner last night. The volume of Boost I am needing to replace at my meals is decreasing.

Struggle: I cannot mentally focus enough to read. I haven't read a novel in >2 years. It puts me to sleep, no matter how interesting the topic. I need to 'relearn' how to read.

Goals: One of our goals was to think of our longterm or "bigger picture" goals. Then to drill down slowly to medium term, short term and immediate goals. Then to make the connection how the short term ones connect to the longterm and lifelong goals, so TODAY you might have to do something you don't want to do (ie. eat meal plan) in order to fulfill the overarching goals. This logic brought me a little more focus to my life. I want to move forward, but I need to undertake the challenge that is right in front of my face before I can tackle the bigger challenge. Starting with the little things.