I want to cry. I want to feel. I want to be anything but numb.
I haven't cut for a while but I also haven't felt anything more than BLAH for the past couple of years. I would rather feel so deeply that I don't know what to do with all the emotion than be stuck in this state with a void of emotion. I don't even feel human anymore.
Unfortunately you can't force these things either. The more I "try" to feel, the less able I am to genuinely feel. This is just another reason why I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm nothing more than a robot. Emotionless.
Random Food News:
If you have time, here's a really interesting article (a quick read) on Junk Food Tax. I am 100% for taxing junk food. I bet a lot of people would still eat it, just like no matter how much they raise gas prices people still drive as much as they did before. However, it might make them think twice. Besides, I find it ridiculous how so often junk food is the cheapest thing on the shelves whereas fresh foods costs so much more. No wonder the cycle of low income families eating junk food perpetuates itself.
I know the whole state of "emotionless" isn't fun... but maybe the grass is always greener on the other side, since there are a lot of emotions you'd rather not have. Anyhow, I hope you get to have some fun and cheer up a bit :)
ReplyDeleteI read the article you linked to... I think I've read about this elsewhere and the only major thing I wonder about is if taxing pop means taxing both diet and non-diet the same way -- since dentists are not fond of either. Here in Chicago they wanted to tax both pop and bottled water... doesn't make much sense, but they tax ANYTHING here in the city. I wonder if their study would be the same if they incorporated a bunch of ED people. I tend to think that would put a spin on things :)
PS> I've been meaning to send you a letter ever since I got your christmas card... it's moved up almost to the top of my to-do list, school has been eating all of my time lately *says this while still in the lab* but I'll write soon!!
Def. agree that they need to make HEALTHY food more available to everyone.
ReplyDeleteIt shouldn't be cheaper to buy some cheetos and a big gulp than a healthy alternative.