"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
I was so sad to say goodbye to my son. Going IP I will not see him much and right now he's with his dad for this week anyway. I'm glad he's not around and I am really hesistant having him visit me in the hospital because of all the machines, tubes, IV's, etc. He's older this time (3.5 yrs) and he will remember more. I don't want him to be exposed to all that right now. I want to protect his innocence.
I feel bad putting my mom and family in such a bind having to juggle their own full time jobs and commitments to watch my son while I am doing nothing more than sitting around in a hospital and struggling through each meal. It sounds so silly, mundane and PATHETIC that someone would reduce their life to eating vs. not eating. There is a whole world out there yet tons of girls (including me) choose not to experience it because thinness is more important.
What a stupid way to think. But it's the only way I know. And what you know is safer than what you don't know.
Have you got a date for admission?
ReplyDeleteI know it'll be difficult leaving your son, but you are possibly giving him the best present in return- a health mom who can run and play with him! Focus on that end result.
Good luck in there. Are you staying 3 weeks or do you know yet?
Hi Tia,
ReplyDeleteRemember, going to inpatient IS your full-time job. It takes just as much focus, determination, and persistence as any other job...probably more. What you are doing is the most courageous and responsible thing you can do right now. Remember that.
-Emily
When do you go in Tia? I have been thinking of you lots lately as one of my other friends in the hospital getting some treatment for severe under eating. Don't feel bad, this is your job and you CAN do this. Love you! xoxo
ReplyDeleteAww, I bet it is soo hard to leave Zach... but just think of all the fun you two will have together when you get out and are full of energy again.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't know if you ever got it, but I tried to msg you on fb a while ago because I wrote you a letter and then (stupidly) lost your address... well, I think I found it again and will write you a new letter. Let me know if I need to send it to a different address or something.
Also, don't feel bad devoting this time to your recovery -- it's important and your family probably wants so badly for you to take this time to recover too. You are seriously a talented, smart and kind person and you don't deserve to have to go through an ED. It takes a lot of strength to arrive at the point where you are -- the point where you will devote the necessary time to really beat this thing.
((hugs))
This is important and you need to do this to recover fully. It will give you a chance to beat ED once and for all. And then you can get back to your real life.
ReplyDeletePlease be well. {{{Hugs}}}