The first month of the year has come and gone.
It feels like life is just going by and I'm struggling to keep up. I have lost my "purpose" in life. I don't know why I wake up every morning.
I used to try and find one thing - even a teeny tiny thing like watching a TV show - to look forward to and that little thing would keep me motivated to keep going until the next teeny tiny thing I could look forward to.
Now, I have lost my ability to find these little things. When I wake up, I look forward to when I can go back to bed again. On one hand I want things to slow down but on the other, I want time to pass quickly so I don't have to deal with ... well... anything...
I saw this really incredible ED recovery video on youtube last night called "Reflections on Anorexia". It really touched me and gave my desire for recovery a boost. I think you should check it out seriously. There are not triggering pics in it or anything. Anywas, it really made my day and maybe it would help inspire you :)
ReplyDeleteI think you should try to get back to your idea of waking up each day and having one little thing to look forward to. What a great idea. Pick something, however small and it just might help you get through the day. I am thinking of you.
ReplyDeletei really understand this honey. i am sorry that you have to deal with wanting life to pass by; i still think almost everyday to myself, "when can i go to bed? is it bedtime yet?" so. i get it. just hang in there. life is worth it.
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