It really annoys me how NOSY church people can be. They have good intentions, but NOSY IS STILL NOSY! I haven't been attending church for a while now and it largely has to do with people poking around in my business and 'praying for me' and 'discussing [my] illness' behind my back (AKA Gossiping about me).
I helped out volunteering to work at the coffee bar at the church's Fall Fair a few weeks ago and I guess my so-called-thinness made it obvious that I have a problem. My mom is a private person and doesn't talk about my ED to anybody at church, yet today someone gave my mom a book called "Starved" by Mercy Ministries. It makes me feel slightly violated or like my privacy has been intruded upon. Just by my appearance people are making assumptions about me and they feel like they have the right to offer their 2 cents. Yes, they are right about the ED thing, but there could be other reasons for someone being thin, right? It could be a metabolic disorder, cancer, some other disease... not necessarily an eD. i guess that is why I'm so irked by their well-meaning prying eyes. If I wanted to share my inner turmoil, I would.
They want to reach out to me but instead they are pushing my further away and make me want to hide myself even more. Sometimes I think my mind is getting more and more warped as the days go by. I feel like the world is twisting and tilting and it's harder and harder to be around people. I wish I could let things slide off me like water off a duck's back, but instead I obsess and ruminate and self-destruct.
Tia, they just want to help/: They're concerned about you and they care about you a lot. I do too! I wish you would realize that people DO care about you. We want you to get better and recover from this illness. Don't think the ED is the only thing that will be there for you. NO that is not true AT ALL. Many people love you and care about you. We want you to get better and live a happy and fulfilling life(:
ReplyDeleteTake care
-Danielle
You know, when someone Googles your name the first page that comes up is an article on anorexia. So I don't think that it's any secret what you are dealing with. That someone took time out of their life to purchase a book and give it to your mom means that they care. People have busy lives. Nosy? Sure, if you want to look at it that way, but having support in a community is what makes the difference between having hope or feeling alone in the world.
ReplyDelete^Great - now I feel even worse for voicing how I feel - intruded upon. I didn't ASK for their help, that's the thing. It's like what they teach you in first aid/CPR classes. The rescuer is supposed to ask if it's OK to help the victim, before just jumping in there.
ReplyDeleteI find it really hard to let others into what I consider a very personal struggle between myself and ED. You absolutely have a right to privacy, and it's okay to feel violated. Sometimes people really do mean the best, but they just end up making us resent their attempts at helping us because they don't understand how ED works.
ReplyDeleteIf someone offers helpful advice, accept it and be thankful. If it makes you feel worse, try and let it go.
Hang in there! You are stronger than you think!
ugh, i hate when people make assumptions like that, regardless of whether they are right or their intentions are good. it feels so invasive and judgmental. and i hate the assumption that you don't realize you have a problem, or that they are somehow experts just because they're concerned. I get that all the time with my scars.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. It can be so frustrating when people try to "help" or offer advice on things they don't understand.
ReplyDeleteAllergy Mum - http://allergymum.blogspot.com/
This website and course called (the lord's table) has saved my life. Literally. You should check it out, I just found your blog and goddamn I LURVE IT. You're just honest, i like that. :)
ReplyDeletewww.settingcaptivesfree.com (IT SAVED MY LIFE!)